This is a nice looking ad, but we can improve it in a couple of important ways.
- Plant an image. “60% sold” is a good way to add urgency, but it’s vague. It doesn’t paint a picture in the mind the way that adding “only 12 left” does. Now they have a clear visual image of what’s at stake.
- Plant the words they will use to justify your price. People are often happy to pay more as long as they have a reason to. There are other ads in this same magazine listing cheaper prices, so you need to add a few words explaining why that is. The price difference may be explained by location, size, luxury, or something else.
If you can be the first to explain your market to them, you can strike a real blow to your competitors because you can frame how the customer looks at you vs your competitors. Imagine they are telling a friend “These places are closer to $400k but they are ___”. You’re looking to put these words into their mouth.
- Revisit the image. Urgency is especially critical at the moment you ask them to call. Try something like… “Call us today to get first look at the last 12 villas.”
And there you have it – we’ve planted two key ideas. A few words to help them to justify their purchase (or interest initially) and an image that will encourage them to act quickly.
P.S. The entry into a draw to win a cruise? Remember the purpose of the ad is to get people interested and to book a viewing, not to make the sale (sell the first thing first). Your ad needs every ounce of help it can get to achieve its goal. If you offered a raffle ticket to everyone who books a viewing – then it gives a nice incentive to pick up the phone, and each part of your ad is aligned to the same purpose (getting people to book a viewing).